The End of The World Coming Soon!

 If you are reading this and you are a praying saint, I beg for you to pray for me about this... So... I moved home in 2005 and wound up stuck at home until 2009 and then I had a breakdown and went to hospital and God used that to get me out.   Well... this is longer than I can fully explain right now... but I think I let some sin in after my hospital stint and I don't know if I was under God's curse or if my mom is, or maybe both of us, but somehow I find myself living at home still taking care of her.  I'm 38 almost 39 I should be out on my own married and with a family. I think I've been cursed bc of spirit husband that's prevented me from getting close enough to any man to get married and caused all kinds of havoc in my life.  And there have been seasons of almost breakthrough and deliverance which in later posts I'll go into more, but here I am claiming my deliverance, and needing God to show up BIG TIME and provide a way of escape.  I don't know if I ...

 2 Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to shew Himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars.  Psalm 119:18 Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wonderous things out of thy law.  Psalm 121:1 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. Proverbs 4:25 Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.  Matthew 13:16 But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.  Matthew 20:33 They say unto him, Lord, that our eyes may be opened.   If you've never studied the eye in the Bible it's very interesting.  God saw His creation and said it is good, so He has eyes, and His eyes roam the earth to seek out those who crave Him.  He alone sees all, don't worry about the all seeing eye, it's going to be plucked out soon and cast ou...

  God Move in A Mysterious Way   God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform He plants His footsteps in the sea And rides upon the storm Deep in unfathomable mines Of never failing skill He treasures up His bright designs And works His sovereign will Ye fearful saints fresh courage take The clouds ye so much dread Are big with mercy and shall break In blessing on your head Judge not the Lord by feeble sense But trust Him for His grace Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face His purposes will ripen fast Unfolding every hour The bud may have a bitter taste But sweet with be the flower Blind unbelief is sure to err And scan His work in vain God is His own interpreter And He will make it plain The pain is sure to scar and wound Fierce tears are bound to fall But God who holds thee in pierced hands Works powerfully in it all Frail bodies yet may waste away Trials press from every side They make a ...

 I realize most of you now think I'm out of my mind.  (I always have been though...)  It's always been end times since Jesus ascended into heaven!  Why are you freaking out now?   I think I'm a watchman!  And if that's the case I'm held to account for not having given warning to what I know.  And I know a lot - push a button and see what comes out, you never know, you may laugh or you may cry or you may wish you'd not pushed the button at all!  So, I'm kind of scared for my own eternity's sake, selfishly.  Some people scoff don't believe in hell but Jesus warned about hell more than he talked about heaven, and he said it's bad.  One time a few summers ago I read some of those testimonies of people who have NDEs - Near Death Experiences... well, they would say they did die, and they did experience these things... but I clicked and read several testimonies about hell.  And it was scary.  You can research that on your own if ...

I thought of God's will as something to discover for a long time. I remember in college, seeking after God's will of direction, especially with what to do after I graduated. My plans had fallen apart. But thankfully God did have other good plans for me.   By my junior year in college, I had decided to do the journeyman program with the IMB. The journeyman program is where young college graduates commit to going overseas for two years to share the Gospel. I was going to go overseas a few years to gain missionary experience, come back for grad school and get my masters in counseling, and then go back on the missionary field to minister to missionaries to keep them on the field. Seems like a good plan, right? Well thought out. I thought my future was so clear. But then, during the vision weekend, my heart changed. Sort of, at least.     So, the IMB invited me to, I'm not sure what they called it, but it was kind of like a vision weekend, to get a better picture of ...

  It had to be the will of God, didn’t it?   I mean, that’s what the subject line of the email said. Dear… did it say dear?   I don’t remember now. “Mrs. Smith here in the United Kingdom is on her deathbed, and wishes to send you her inheritance of $26.2 Million dollars. She felt it was the will of God to pick you, please respond quickly before she passes away.” Now, most of you would laugh at this, obviously, it’s a scam, I’m sure there were misspelled words in the email, but for me, this email certified that I was in the center of God’s Will.   Of course He wanted to give me $26.2 Million dollars!   I could pay off my student loans, my friend’s student loans, invest the money in oh, possibly a new foundation, start a new ministry here in Winston-Salem like the Dale House, my mom wouldn’t have to worry about money again… not to mention I could educate the world on the coming evils of the Black Awakening, and expose the conspiracies blinding the masses… ...

  MediSin.   I had been listening to InfoWars one afternoon when Alex had this doctor on, who was sharing about the conspiracy the medical and pharmaceutical world had in mind for the general public. He talked about how our eating habits perpetually brought on sickness and disease, and that doctors were simply observing how we are slowly poisoning ourselves to death. Lack of exercise, eating white bleached processed crap, GMO foods, taking psychotropic meds, all of it creating health crises in the country, filling up hospitals, leading to diabetes, heart disease, death... It's all a money making scheme, with doctors lining up to watch how we can and do slowly die. It was a pretty morbid, and pretty fascinating conversation. Dr. Scott had written a book he was promoting on the show, MediSin. So, I bought a copy, and he actually signed it for me! And I read it and was mesmerized. It was kind of freaky to think about how modern medicine came about as perpetuating their method...

  Do you know why you're here? The nurse asked me. It was actually a male nurse, or maybe a behavioral health technician. But he asked me the question all the same.   The Will of God, I guess! I replied, in a kind of excited way.   Wow, I don't believe I've ever heard that answer before!   That's great! He said, and I felt kind of proud of my answer. Why God had me in the hospital instead of in a jail, I wasn't sure, but wow I was happy after all!     I'd lost track of time at that point, but it had to be late, like maybe 12:30 am or so. I was in my hospital gown, ick. But I went into the common room on the hall, and found a fellow patient to talk to.   I don't remember her name, which works because I couldn't say it for confidentiality reasons anyway, but we had a great conversation, and she told me all about her health problems, and especially that her arm was sore and hurt. Well, she was a believer as well, and I was like, well lets ...

                 As I write, I’m realizing in my life, the real tragedy wasn’t losing my dad or even my mom being handicapped, it was that I let the devil steal my joy for so long.   He robbed me of so much goodness and peace and joy I could have had! He lied to me.   He told me I was a victim of circumstance, and that anyone in my shoes would be bitter and resentful at life. So I did think I was a victim of circumstance, and I was bitter and resentful at life, and I was bothered with demons, and I was lonely… sheesh this has been the great tragedy all along!   Not that I’ve been dealt crappy circumstances, but that I missed the joy through them. Realizing that alone gives me a grievous spirit when I reflect on the darker times, which unfortunately the darker times overshadow the joyous seasons in my life if I’m honest. If I’d just confessed my sin maybe someone would have slapped me silly and pray...

                 Chapter 2                So… back to my story and sorting where it may fit into God’s grander story… so… there’s some tragedy in here I have to address.                When I was six my dad took his own life.                (Well no one was there so there is a possibility that the bullet ricocheted off a tree, I’d rather believe that, but the evidence points to otherwise in some ways.)                Now, this is a very psychologically damaging thing to a child, and to a family.                  I think… suicide is a very dark place to go...